Change. Not something I deal with very well. I manage the small things, I've learnt to cope, but the big things? The big things are difficult, and a couple of big changes have happened here in the last few months.
After 13 years, I'm now a single lady again. That's a pretty big change, right? Enough for a person to deal with?
Nope. Just a few short months later my beloved Henry died.
Honestly, I don't think I've ever been so sad.
I've hidden myself away a little bit. I've found it more difficult than usual to be out and put on a cheerful face. Don't get me wrong, I've had good days, I've been out and seen people, I've not been a total recluse! And I have created. Sewing, quilting, crochet and knitting have helped enormously, kept me busy, given my brain something gentle and pretty to focus on.
But now I am feeling a little bit stronger. I've been on my own for 5 months (obviously not actually alone - my beautiful Molly is here with me) and I need to get back some of the 'me' and not just be sad and frightened. Like the true introvert I am, I'm reaching out to all my internet friends, because I can do that from my sofa, in my jammies, and I can't see or hear anyone who isn't kind about it all. I have stayed active on IG (albeit a little erratically) and felt so supported by so many people when Henry died. It made me feel 'normal' that I was so utterly devastated by the loss of a cat, so many people understood. And so I'm hoping that I can find that support again, through my blog as well as IG. That there will be other people who are dealing with the breakdown of a relationship, the loss of a pet, depression - there, I said the D word. Not something I like to admit to, although I know I shouldn't feel ashamed, I still find it so hard to talk about.
I don't want this to be a big, old moaning post, I just want to explain a little about why I haven't been here. To say that now I want to be back, to focus on the positive, to move forward. To share my passion for creating with people who understand!! I've joined a few IG swaps, and I'm going to try linking up with other things that are going on too. So I hope to see you all very, very soon!!